the joke
I’ve had it just up to here with your smiles and your lies
I’m sick of seeing your hand by your mouth and the whispers you try to disguise
we may have had fun for a while but now I’ll get an alternate view
cause I’m not in the aisle seat anymore, I’m three or four rows far behind you
these earbuds that I’m wearing
don’t hide your ‘subtle’ staring
I see you, I see you, I see you
I’m done being the only one not in on the joke
I won’t do it anymore
It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know
come on, what’s a promise for
it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor
but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door
so I know
you either tell me or I go
there was a history, this story started long ago
but now it’s clear you don’t care, it’s as if we weren’t there when my memory says it was so
we might have made bracelets or skipped on the pavement but now that’s all through
cause when I look at what it took it wasn’t worth the excuses I made you
this jacket that I’m grabbing
won’t hide the back you’re stabbing
I see you, I see you, I see you
I’m done being the only one not in on the joke
I won’t do it anymore
It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know
come on, what’s a promise for
it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor
but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door
so it’s true
you can admit or I can, too
don’t play stupid, I know that it’s you
I hear it echo into the stall
I’m finished with the antics you’re putting me through
so when I see you again in the hall
I’m done being the only one not in on the joke
I won’t do it anymore
It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know
come on, what’s a promise for
it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor
but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door
so it’s clear
there’s nothing left we’re doing here
I’m done being the only one not in on the joke
I won’t do it anymore
It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know
come on, what’s a promise for
it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor
but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door
so it’s clear
there’s nothing left we’re doing here
take your jokes and disappear
I’m so sick of this fear
wanderlust
take me on down
to some little town
Michigan, if you can
handle the sound
take me to roam
to some place far from home
Washington might be fun
show me around
I'm over standing still, I gotta go away
and I'll go crazy if I'm waiting here another day
about that time that we discussed
let's throw away these chains of rust
before we turn to dust, let's cure our wanderlust
take me away
to a town by the bay
Chesapeake, take a week
let's leave today
take me to shore
we've been there before
Ashbury, sea-worthy
plans underway
I'm over standing still, I gotta go away
and I'll go crazy if I'm waiting here another day
about that time that we discussed
let's throw away these chains of rust
before we turn to dust, let's cure our wanderlust
take me on down
I'm over standing still, I gotta go away
and I'll go crazy if I'm waiting here another day
about that time that we discussed
let's throw away these chains of rust
before we turn to dust, let's cure our wanderlust
take me on down
to some little town
yes, we must
out or bust
let's heed our wanderlust
a bit too much like yesterday (interlude)
today just felt a bit too much like yesterday
and yesterday felt like the day before
I woke and then I ate,
I did some things I hate
and then some other things that I adore
yes, today just felt a bit too much like yesterday
but maybe I can change my point of view
while, yes, today and yesterday
were old and moldy, cold and gray
tomorrow’s always gonna be brand new
right there
haven't you seen my heartbroken dream
she's lounging around in my mind
haven't you known the soft undertone
of searching a perch just to find
why it's so sad to say what we had
was only some air, some hours to share
is it so wrong to keep holding strong
in moments like this, it's hard not to miss your sad stare
me right here, you right there
haven't you seen a girl, just nineteen
she's wondering where she went wrong
haven't you known those nights all alone
of yearning to learn a new song
why's it so bleak? I called you unique
I drove you away, I wanted to say
is it so soon for two friends to swoon
we spoke close before, so maybe once more we could share
me right here, you right there
haven't you seen a princess, a queen
she's floating on air in her dreams
haven't you known what living has shown
to follow your heart where it gleams
why's it so clear I hold you so dear
I'll never give up, my hope is enough
is it too late for fate to be fate
tomorrow you'll see, although you may be unaware
me right here, you right there
I'll follow my dreams anywhere
me right here, you right there
young and wise
I was tight tight tight tight
it was a window
into something new that grew overnight
and you were right, right? right
I just needed a drive
just needed a minute outside to see the light
I was busy being young and
he was busy being stupid
together we were more immature
and now I’m young and wise
it took a while to open up my eyes
days went by with no words spoken
wasted hours sitting there, hopin’
spent a minute just being broken
till everything came bursting wide open
it was close close close close
got out with seconds to spare
who knows what would’ve been if I’d let you win standing there
and I was so so so so
painfully unaware
this hopeless affair wasn’t going anywhere
I was busy being clueless
he was busy being foolish
together we were more to answer for
and now I’m young and wise
it took a while to open up my eyes
days went by with no words spoken
wasted hours sitting there, hopin’
spent a minute just being broken
till everything came bursting wide open
so much inside I never saw
so many parts of me that finally get chances to thaw
who knew what losing you would do
now I’m young and wise
it took a while to open up my eyes
days went by with no words spoken
wasted hours sitting there, hopin’
spent a minute just being broken
till everything came bursting wide open
the day that might have been (star-crossed)
today is the day that might have been
palm of my hand beneath my chin
eyes out the window, feet on the floor
radio blasting more than before on this day
the day that might have been
today is the day that might have been
sad that it never will begin
bags in the back and I'm crying a bit
hair is a mess and stomach's a pit on this day
the day that might have been
my star-crossed future's calling me
I don't know what I'm gonna be but I've got
star-crossed endings, star-crossed youth
star-crossed dreams and star-crossed truth
I don't know where to go when the answer's always no
if everything is dying, how am I supposed to grow?
they say it's written in the stars
maybe that depends on who you are
today is the day that might have been
too much to balance on one pin
problems to solve and journeys to end
must be too much relief to depend on a day
the day that might have been
my star-crossed future's calling me
I don't know what I'm gonna be but I've got
star-crossed endings, star-crossed youth
star-crossed dreams and star-crossed truth
I don't know where to go when the answer's always no
if everything is dying, how am I supposed to grow?
they say it's written in the stars
maybe that depends on who you are
star-crossed, star-crossed
my star-crossed future's calling me
I don't know what I'm gonna be but I've got
star-crossed endings, star-crossed youth
star-crossed dreams and star-crossed truth
I don't know where to go when the answer's always no
if everything is dying, how am I supposed to grow?
they say it's written in the stars
maybe that depends on who you are
they say it's written in the stars
maybe that depends on who you are
today is the day that might have been
palm of my hand beneath my chin
eyes out the window, feet on the floor
radio blasting more than before on this day
the day that might have been
leaving me behind
I guess I looked the other way
figured that the cause was all but lost
thought I'd never see the day
and now I see the wait was just the cost
when I first saw you, I was scared
figured you were way out of my reach
there was so much that we shared
and now my heart's all bared, so don't you breach
this piece of conversation
it's a little road we're takin'
I don't wanna cry on the floor anymore
and I know that I might if you go walk out that door
so no more second guessing
love is lost when you're pretending
I won't be seeing you no more
time to make up your mind
are you leaving me behind
you were prettier than most
jawline that could break up shards of glass
and my skin is like a ghost
I thought that we were toast
just bottled gas
but you kept texting back to me
made me maybe think there's something here
though, of course, it's never clear
I can't not hope that we're soon gonna be
this piece of conversation
it's a little road we're takin'
I don't wanna cry on the floor anymore
and I know that I might if you go walk out that door
so no more second guessing
love is lost when you're pretending
I won't be seeing you no more
time to make up your mind
are you leaving me behind
wasn't gonna say this yet
but I really think we could be
something real
but I can't help but get in my head and ask myself
if you could really feel
at all
the way I knew I do for you
this piece of conversation
is a little road we're takin'
I don't wanna cry on the floor anymore
and I know that I might if you go walk out that door
so no more second guessing
love is lost when you're pretending
I won't be seeing you no more
time to make up your mind
are you leaving me behind
are you leaving me behind
narnia (interlude)
sometimes I still go into my wardrobe
hoping there might be Narnia in there
I know I’m far too old
that’s how the tale’s been told
I know it’s just a children’s story
I know it’s just an allegory
but sometimes I still walk into my wardrobe
and I hope there might be Narnia in there
ego check
had the same twisted ankle for a year or so
tend to forget it’s there, a couple weeks go by, then a pinch like a hairline,
a friendly reminder I’m broken somehow, even though I forgot every now and then
made a stupid mistake a couple years ago
tend to forget the awkward talk that ensued, and then, way late at night, it creeps back in like a dude in a bar
a simple refresher on the pretty messed up way things are
some-times you need a simple ego check
some-times you need a slap in the face
I’m not the queen of now or then
thank God I can begin again
I’m no better than you, you’re no better than me, we’re all moving at the exact same pace
saddest part is the rolling the stone up the hill
we wonder at the point of it all as we try and we try, like a pre-blindness Paul trying to think
the answer’s right there, but we miss it until we blink
sometimes it seems like we’d rather convenience than truth
we wonder at the point of the busy-ness when the dizziness of the life wouldn’t be fizzy necessarily
sometimes we don’t care, and then others, we look at it warily
some-times you need a simple ego check
some-times you need a slap in the face
I’m not the queen of now or then
thank God I can begin again
I’m no better than you, you’re no better than me,
we’re all moving at the exact same pace
how will you learn if you don’t fall
how will you learn if you don’t try out being tall
how will you learn if you don’t see
how will you learn if you don’t be
(I) suppose that, in a way, it must be overdue
I get one too many compliments and then my head balloons, my self-obsession monsoons and I fear
I might be too proud to appreciate how I got here
but I won’t lie, it’s been nice to accept the praise alone
I get one too many flatteries and my batteries seem to forget the pitter-pattery scene
how I wasn’t alone, how I can’t take all the credit where I lean
some-times you need a simple ego check
some-times you need a slap in the face
I’m not the queen of now or then
thank God I can begin again
I’m no better than you, you’re no better than me, we’re all moving at the exact same pace
just a little sky
did you ever wonder
what it might be like to touch the sky
just to reach those fingers high
hear the rolling thunder
see the lightning brush your pinkie nail
just to keep your feelings from feeling stale
guess it must be easy
in principle but not in mind
just to worry what you’ll find
all the world that we see
so accessible but less than kind
just to watch your dreams unwind
go ahead, just sit and watch
let life just pass you by
can’t blame a friend who takes it easy till they die
go ahead, just sip your scotch
and never wonder why
you can look and not touch, it’s just a little sky
sorry, no more questions
you’ve decided you don’t have much time
gotta be more realistic with your rhyme
no more quick suggestions
confident your confidant will keep you wise
you’ll know it all before you rise
so go ahead, just sit and watch
let life just pass you by
can’t blame a friend who takes it easy till they die
go ahead, just sip your scotch
and never wonder why
you can look and not touch, it’s just a little sky
looking back and dreaming
all the times you could have danced on air
in the clouds without a care
sun looks down, all beaming
proud of all the hours you spent right there
the audacity you had to dare
but go ahead, just sit and watch
let life just pass you by
can’t blame a friend who takes it easy till they die
go ahead, just sip your scotch
and never wonder why
you can look and not touch, it’s just a little sky
you can look and not touch, it's just a little sky
you can look and not touch, it's just a little sky
b&w
deep in my bed with the sheets on my head, I am overwhelmed
sort of hoped you’d go away
I guess that I thought with the pain that it brought, you would see my plight
and instead you chose to stay
staring ahead
I wonder what I might have done, was I less than polite?
one step from dead
I wonder when everything faded to color from black and white
you’re drawing near and I’m starting to fear this is not a dream
seems a tad too real to me
with all you are and with my ugly scar, it was just too soon
I just slip so easily
seeing it now
I wonder how I ended up in this place overnight
already gone somehow
I wonder when everything faded to color from black and white
I was a tough tornado
you were a yellow road
I was a classic picture
you were a rainbow ode
I was a sepia landscape
you were a ruby shoe
I was a grayscale backdrop
you were a horse of hue
always remiss that I wanted some bliss different from this mess
something interesting and new
it wasn’t thought out, I was clueless of doubt and some unsaid dread
but mostly my fear of you
so, now, where to?
I wonder if I always knew, if I had it in sight
or if I still do
I wonder when everything faded to color from black and white
I was a tough tornado
you were a yellow road
I was a classic picture
you were a rainbow ode
I was a sepia landscape
you were a ruby shoe
I was a grayscale backdrop
you were a horse of hue
tea of old (interlude)
it was cold and so I boiled up some water
I figured it would warm me up
to have some tea inside my cup
and as the pot became much hotter
I grew more and more elated
for the tea for which I’d waited
and I poured it in my mug
and I took a big sip
and the tea was scalding hot
and it burned my upper lip
and I left it alone for a while
and when I remembered tea of old
I took another drink and then, to my surprise, it was cold
it was cold and so I boiled up some water
I figured it would warm me up
to have some tea inside my cup
and as the pot became much hotter
I grew more and more elated
for the tea for which I’d waited
and I poured it in my mug
and I took a big sip
and the tea was scalding hot
and it burned my upper lip
and I left it alone for a while
and when I remembered tea of old
I took another drink and then, to my surprise, it was cold
we'll make it
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
oh, it’s plain to see
you’ve been loving me for quite a while
I can feel it in your touch
I can hear it in your sigh
oh, I know it’s true
it’s been me and you, you and I
we’ll make it
you’ll see
we’ll make it
for better or worse,
if this universe taught me anything
we’ll make it, you and me
always knew you were the one
always knew we’d see the day
push may come to shove
but, darling, this great love is here to stay
always guessed that it was you
always figured we’d get here
oh, it’s simply bliss
we’ll remember this
year after year after year after year
we’ll make it
you’ll see
we’ll make it
for better or worse,
if this universe taught me anything
we’ll make it, you and me
we’ll make it
you’ll see
we’ll make it
in sickness, in health
in poverty, wealth, well, through anything
we’ll make it, you and me
the silence in between
I’m ready for the mountains
I’m ready for the lakes
I’m ready for the mystery the blinded journey makes
I’m ready for the driving
I’m ready for the sea
I’m ready for the silence in between you and me
I’m ready for the silence in between you and me
I’m ready for the sunrise
I’m ready for the dawn
I’m ready for the early start we’ll need for keeping on
I’m ready for the morning
I’m ready to turn the key
I’m ready for the emptiness between you and me
I’m ready for the emptiness between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
I’m ready for directions
I’m ready for the road
I’m ready for the troubled trucks and hopes we don’t get towed
I’m ready for confusion
I’m ready for the glee
I’m ready for the distance in between you and me
I’m ready for the distance in between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
I’m ready for the freedom
I’m ready for the sights
I’m ready for the photographs we’ll take from greater heights
I’m ready for excitement
I’m ready just to be
I’m ready for the misery between you and me
I’m ready for the misery between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
in between you and me
I’m ready for the mountains
I’m ready for the lakes
I’m ready for the mystery the blinded journey makes
I’m ready for the driving
I’m ready for the sea
I’m ready for the silence in between you and me
I’m ready for the silence in between you and me
nineteen
she was an olden soul in a girl, only nineteen
he was an early spark in the sky, kept on beaming
he’d fly so high
but he couldn’t see the moon
he was a little too soon
she was a bit too wise for a girl, only nineteen
he was a rough draft marked as complete, kept on singing
he’d heard each word
but he didn’t know the tune
he was a little too soon
oh, if he’d only waited a little while
oh, he might have met her smile
she was an empty shell of a girl, only nineteen
he was a broken clock on a wall, kept on screaming
it’s time, you’re mine
every morning and afternoon
he was a little too soon
she was an olden soul in a girl, only nineteen
he was an early spark in the sky, kept on beaming
he’d fly so high
but he couldn’t see the moon
he was a little too soon
resting better now
nothing but nice things to say when you take it all away
I wish I’d told you before
nothing but positive thoughts when you count up all the loss
I wish I’d noticed it more
so many mistakes, I don’t know what to say
I guess I let my fear of rejection get in the way
but I hope you’re resting better now
I hope you feel my love somehow
I hope you know I wanted you to stay
that it would turn out okay
I hope you sense the joy you gave
I hope you see your friends all wave
as much as this deep distance will allow
I hope you’re resting better now
last time we talked was a blur, don’t remember how we were
just a run-in at some clothing store
last thing we said was a lie, guess we just ran out of time
thought we’d catch up, but what for
so many wrong steps, I don’t know what to do
I guess I’ll have to take my whole life to make it up to you
but I hope you’re resting better now
I hope you feel my love somehow
I hope you know I wanted you to stay
so you’d believe when I say
I hope you sense the joy you gave
I hope you see your friends all wave
as much as this deep distance will allow
I hope you’re resting better now
hundreds of people are here, everybody drawing near
longing to hold you again
so much that I didn’t say, now it has to stay that way
if only I’d known it back then
so many regrets, I don’t know where to start
I guess I’ll have to settle for you living on in my heart
I hope you’re resting better now
I hope you feel my love somehow
I hope you know I wanted you to stay
so you could hear this song play
I hope you sense the joy you gave
I hope you see your friends all wave
as much as this deep distance will allow
I hope you’re resting better now
I hope you're resting better now
I hope you're resting better now
overthinker
I was in control
on a roll
never thought I'd fall
and then you stepped in
with your childish grin
and you took it all
figured I was fine
didn't whine
for a year or five
gave my world a shake
gave my heart a break
when you came alive
it was over before I could know what I wanted
it was done before it had begun to be clear
and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you
there's songs you'll never even hear
have I lost my mind
have I lost my mind
yes
now my life's a mess
who'da guessed
that the neat freak could
and I'm trapped inside
cause I'm terrified
of this neighborhood
it was overdose
one step close
and then three steps back
and I did my best
but this deep unrest
has been cardiac
it was over before I could know what I wanted
it was done before it had begun to be clear
and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you
there's songs you'll never even hear
have I lost my mind
have I lost my mind
yes
you thought you were the overthinker
well, who's overthinking now?
who's over thinking now?
it was over before I could know what I wanted
it was done before it had begun to be clear
and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you
there's songs you'll never even hear
have I lost my mind
have I lost my mind
it was over before I could know what I wanted
it was done before it had begun to be clear
and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you
there's songs you'll never even hear
have I lost my mind
have I lost my mind
yes
all over anyway
I guess I give a little too much
I guess I let you walk right in and say what you needed
you were missing somebody else's touch
you were breaking down with half a plan to believe in
and I had the audacity to trust you
to think that this wasn't just you
I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all
I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall
where'd I go wrong, what did I say
it's all over anyway
it could have been when I had my eyes closed
it could have crept away when it thought no one was looking
I'm betting it was right beneath my nose
I thought that we were safe and then you came and you took it away
and I was always sure it was too good to be true
I don't know how I knew
I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all
I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall
where'd I go wrong, what did I say
it's all over anyway
I still recall the last moment that I saw you
on that sunny august day
there was no indication
but I felt confirmation then
I'd never see you again
I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all
I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall
where'd I go wrong, what did I say
I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all
I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall
where'd I go wrong, what did I say
it's all over anyway
twenty (interlude)
if twenty-one is an adult and nineteen’s a teen
then what about the people who fall just in-between
I'm talking twenty year olds (that’s me!)
twenty year olds
on the earth for twenty (not the year, I'm twenty)
I'm just a year too few and just a year too many
what are we, what can we be
when we are only twenty
abington
just say you're from Philadelphia
no one asks for clarity
they tried to change our high school’s name
and all they got was hilarity
Bob Saget didn’t live here for long
and neither did my sanity
but ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington
you say your name, if it’s the same
Penny’s gives a rose for free
or head on down to Wawa now
you’ll probably know somebody
they never gave us snow days enough
that icy drive was misery
but ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington
and when it hits July and that parade goes by
we’ll look at Glenside Weldon and we’ll heave a sigh
they’re always making changes, couldn’t tell you why
but every time you say goodbye
you know you’ll miss that Keswick bliss
all those shops you’ll never see
when you return, you gave your word
your name will be on that marquee
some say they wish they’d lived somewhere else
to me, that thought’s a rarity
ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington
ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington
on the horizon
it’s all on the horizon
don’t wanna turn away
it’s all on the horizon
and I can’t help but stay here in this
moment alone
moment unknown
it’s all on the horizon
I feel it drawing near
it’s all on the horizon
my feet are frozen here, just in this
moment alone
moment all grown
it’s all on the horizon
don’t wanna turn away
it’s all on the horizon
and I can’t help but stay here in this
moment alone
moment unknown
it’s all on the horizon
I’m scared to look ahead
it’s all on the horizon
I’m filling up with dread watching this
moment alone
moment unknown
moment alone
moment unknown
moment alone
moment unknown
moment alone
moment all grown
credits
Lizzy Hilliard: vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, piano, ukulele, shaker, bells, tambourine, misc. percussion, songwriter, music production, mixing and mastering*
Jonathan Hilliard: electric bass, mixing and mastering
Nick Hilliard: cello
* = interludes