the joke

I’ve had it just up to here with your smiles and your lies

I’m sick of seeing your hand by your mouth and the whispers you try to disguise

we may have had fun for a while but now I’ll get an alternate view

cause I’m not in the aisle seat anymore, I’m three or four rows far behind you

 

these earbuds that I’m wearing

don’t hide your ‘subtle’ staring

I see you, I see you, I see you

 

I’m done being the only one not in on the joke

I won’t do it anymore

It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know

come on, what’s a promise for

it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor

but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door

so I know

you either tell me or I go

 

there was a history, this story started long ago

but now it’s clear you don’t care, it’s as if we weren’t there when my memory says it was so

we might have made bracelets or skipped on the pavement but now that’s all through

cause when I look at what it took it wasn’t worth the excuses I made you

 

this jacket that I’m grabbing

won’t hide the back you’re stabbing

I see you, I see you, I see you

 

I’m done being the only one not in on the joke

I won’t do it anymore

It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know

come on, what’s a promise for

it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor

but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door

so it’s true

you can admit or I can, too

 

don’t play stupid, I know that it’s you

I hear it echo into the stall

I’m finished with the antics you’re putting me through

so when I see you again in the hall

 

I’m done being the only one not in on the joke

I won’t do it anymore

It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know

come on, what’s a promise for

it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor

but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door

so it’s clear

there’s nothing left we’re doing here

I’m done being the only one not in on the joke

I won’t do it anymore

It’s bad enough that everybody else seems to know

come on, what’s a promise for

it must be funny, cause you’re all on the floor

but Sarah in the corner has her eyes on the door

so it’s clear

there’s nothing left we’re doing here

take your jokes and disappear

I’m so sick of this fear

wanderlust

take me on down

to some little town

Michigan, if you can

handle the sound

take me to roam

to some place far from home

Washington might be fun

show me around

I'm over standing still, I gotta go away

and I'll go crazy if I'm waiting here another day

about that time that we discussed

let's throw away these chains of rust

before we turn to dust, let's cure our wanderlust

take me away

to a town by the bay

Chesapeake, take a week

let's leave today

take me to shore

we've been there before

Ashbury, sea-worthy

plans underway

I'm over standing still, I gotta go away

and I'll go crazy if I'm waiting here another day

about that time that we discussed

let's throw away these chains of rust

before we turn to dust, let's cure our wanderlust

take me on down

I'm over standing still, I gotta go away

and I'll go crazy if I'm waiting here another day

about that time that we discussed

let's throw away these chains of rust

before we turn to dust, let's cure our wanderlust

take me on down

to some little town

yes, we must

out or bust

let's heed our wanderlust

a bit too much like yesterday (interlude)

today just felt a bit too much like yesterday

and yesterday felt like the day before

I woke and then I ate,

I did some things I hate

and then some other things that I adore

 

yes, today just felt a bit too much like yesterday

but maybe I can change my point of view

while, yes, today and yesterday

were old and moldy, cold and gray

tomorrow’s always gonna be brand new

right there

haven't you seen my heartbroken dream

she's lounging around in my mind

haven't you known the soft undertone

of searching a perch just to find

why it's so sad to say what we had

was only some air, some hours to share

is it so wrong to keep holding strong

in moments like this, it's hard not to miss your sad stare

me right here, you right there

haven't you seen a girl, just nineteen

she's wondering where she went wrong

haven't you known those nights all alone

of yearning to learn a new song

why's it so bleak? I called you unique

I drove you away, I wanted to say

is it so soon for two friends to swoon

we spoke close before, so maybe once more we could share

me right here, you right there

haven't you seen a princess, a queen

she's floating on air in her dreams

haven't you known what living has shown

to follow your heart where it gleams

why's it so clear I hold you so dear

I'll never give up, my hope is enough

is it too late for fate to be fate

tomorrow you'll see, although you may be unaware

me right here, you right there

I'll follow my dreams anywhere

me right here, you right there

young and wise

I was tight tight tight tight

it was a window

into something new that grew overnight

 

and you were right, right? right

I just needed a drive

just needed a minute outside to see the light

 

I was busy being young and

he was busy being stupid

together we were more immature

 

and now I’m young and wise

it took a while to open up my eyes

days went by with no words spoken

wasted hours sitting there, hopin’

spent a minute just being broken

till everything came bursting wide open

 

it was close close close close

got out with seconds to spare

who knows what would’ve been if I’d let you win standing there

 

and I was so so so so

painfully unaware

this hopeless affair wasn’t going anywhere

 

I was busy being clueless

he was busy being foolish

together we were more to answer for

 

and now I’m young and wise

it took a while to open up my eyes

days went by with no words spoken

wasted hours sitting there, hopin’

spent a minute just being broken

till everything came bursting wide open

 

so much inside I never saw

so many parts of me that finally get chances to thaw

who knew what losing you would do

 

now I’m young and wise

it took a while to open up my eyes

days went by with no words spoken

wasted hours sitting there, hopin’

spent a minute just being broken

till everything came bursting wide open

the day that might have been (star-crossed)

today is the day that might have been

palm of my hand beneath my chin

eyes out the window, feet on the floor

radio blasting more than before on this day

the day that might have been

 

today is the day that might have been

sad that it never will begin 

bags in the back and I'm crying a bit

hair is a mess and stomach's a pit on this day

the day that might have been

 

my star-crossed future's calling me

I don't know what I'm gonna be but I've got

star-crossed endings, star-crossed youth

star-crossed dreams and star-crossed truth

I don't know where to go when the answer's always no

if everything is dying, how am I supposed to grow?

they say it's written in the stars

maybe that depends on who you are

 

today is the day that might have been

too much to balance on one pin

problems to solve and journeys to end

must be too much relief to depend on a day

the day that might have been

 

my star-crossed future's calling me

I don't know what I'm gonna be but I've got

star-crossed endings, star-crossed youth

star-crossed dreams and star-crossed truth

I don't know where to go when the answer's always no

if everything is dying, how am I supposed to grow?

they say it's written in the stars

maybe that depends on who you are

star-crossed, star-crossed

 

my star-crossed future's calling me

I don't know what I'm gonna be but I've got

star-crossed endings, star-crossed youth

star-crossed dreams and star-crossed truth

I don't know where to go when the answer's always no

if everything is dying, how am I supposed to grow?

they say it's written in the stars

maybe that depends on who you are

they say it's written in the stars

maybe that depends on who you are

 

today is the day that might have been

palm of my hand beneath my chin

eyes out the window, feet on the floor

radio blasting more than before on this day

the day that might have been

leaving me behind

I guess I looked the other way

figured that the cause was all but lost

thought I'd never see the day

and now I see the wait was just the cost

when I first saw you, I was scared

figured you were way out of my reach

there was so much that we shared

and now my heart's all bared, so don't you breach

this piece of conversation

it's a little road we're takin'

I don't wanna cry on the floor anymore

and I know that I might if you go walk out that door

so no more second guessing

love is lost when you're pretending

I won't be seeing you no more

time to make up your mind

are you leaving me behind

you were prettier than most

jawline that could break up shards of glass

and my skin is like a ghost

I thought that we were toast

just bottled gas

but you kept texting back to me

made me maybe think there's something here

though, of course, it's never clear

I can't not hope that we're soon gonna be

this piece of conversation

it's a little road we're takin'

I don't wanna cry on the floor anymore

and I know that I might if you go walk out that door

so no more second guessing

love is lost when you're pretending

I won't be seeing you no more

time to make up your mind

are you leaving me behind

wasn't gonna say this yet

but I really think we could be

something real

but I can't help but get in my head and ask myself

if you could really feel

at all

the way I knew I do for you

this piece of conversation

is a little road we're takin'

I don't wanna cry on the floor anymore

and I know that I might if you go walk out that door

so no more second guessing

love is lost when you're pretending

I won't be seeing you no more

time to make up your mind

are you leaving me behind

are you leaving me behind

narnia (interlude)

sometimes I still go into my wardrobe

hoping there might be Narnia in there

I know I’m far too old

that’s how the tale’s been told

I know it’s just a children’s story

I know it’s just an allegory

but sometimes I still walk into my wardrobe

and I hope there might be Narnia in there

ego check

had the same twisted ankle for a year or so

tend to forget it’s there, a couple weeks go by, then a pinch like a hairline,

a friendly reminder I’m broken somehow, even though I forgot every now and then

 

made a stupid mistake a couple years ago

tend to forget the awkward talk that ensued, and then, way late at night, it creeps back in like a dude in a bar

a simple refresher on the pretty messed up way things are

 

some-times you need a simple ego check

some-times you need a slap in the face

I’m not the queen of now or then

thank God I can begin again

I’m no better than you, you’re no better than me, we’re all moving at the exact same pace

 

saddest part is the rolling the stone up the hill

we wonder at the point of it all as we try and we try, like a pre-blindness Paul trying to think

the answer’s right there, but we miss it until we blink

 

sometimes it seems like we’d rather convenience than truth

we wonder at the point of the busy-ness when the dizziness of the life wouldn’t be fizzy necessarily

sometimes we don’t care, and then others, we look at it warily

 

some-times you need a simple ego check

some-times you need a slap in the face

I’m not the queen of now or then

thank God I can begin again

I’m no better than you, you’re no better than me,

we’re all moving at the exact same pace

 

how will you learn if you don’t fall

how will you learn if you don’t try out being tall

how will you learn if you don’t see

how will you learn if you don’t be

 

(I) suppose that, in a way, it must be overdue

I get one too many compliments and then my head balloons, my self-obsession monsoons and I fear

I might be too proud to appreciate how I got here

 

but I won’t lie, it’s been nice to accept the praise alone

I get one too many flatteries and my batteries seem to forget the pitter-pattery scene

how I wasn’t alone, how I can’t take all the credit where I lean

 

some-times you need a simple ego check

some-times you need a slap in the face

I’m not the queen of now or then

thank God I can begin again

I’m no better than you, you’re no better than me, we’re all moving at the exact same pace

just a little sky

did you ever wonder

what it might be like to touch the sky

just to reach those fingers high

 

hear the rolling thunder

see the lightning brush your pinkie nail

just to keep your feelings from feeling stale

 

guess it must be easy

in principle but not in mind

just to worry what you’ll find

 

all the world that we see

so accessible but less than kind

just to watch your dreams unwind

 

go ahead, just sit and watch

let life just pass you by

can’t blame a friend who takes it easy till they die

go ahead, just sip your scotch

and never wonder why

you can look and not touch, it’s just a little sky

 

sorry, no more questions

you’ve decided you don’t have much time

gotta be more realistic with your rhyme

 

no more quick suggestions

confident your confidant will keep you wise

you’ll know it all before you rise

 

so go ahead, just sit and watch

let life just pass you by

can’t blame a friend who takes it easy till they die

go ahead, just sip your scotch

and never wonder why

you can look and not touch, it’s just a little sky

 

looking back and dreaming

all the times you could have danced on air

in the clouds without a care

 

sun looks down, all beaming

proud of all the hours you spent right there

the audacity you had to dare

 

but go ahead, just sit and watch

let life just pass you by

can’t blame a friend who takes it easy till they die

go ahead, just sip your scotch

and never wonder why

you can look and not touch, it’s just a little sky

you can look and not touch, it's just a little sky

you can look and not touch, it's just a little sky

b&w

deep in my bed with the sheets on my head, I am overwhelmed

sort of hoped you’d go away

I guess that I thought with the pain that it brought, you would see my plight

and instead you chose to stay

 

staring ahead

I wonder what I might have done, was I less than polite?

one step from dead

I wonder when everything faded to color from black and white

 

you’re drawing near and I’m starting to fear this is not a dream

seems a tad too real to me

with all you are and with my ugly scar, it was just too soon

I just slip so easily

 

seeing it now

I wonder how I ended up in this place overnight

already gone somehow

I wonder when everything faded to color from black and white

 

I was a tough tornado

you were a yellow road

I was a classic picture

you were a rainbow ode

 

I was a sepia landscape

you were a ruby shoe

I was a grayscale backdrop

you were a horse of hue

 

always remiss that I wanted some bliss different from this mess

something interesting and new

it wasn’t thought out, I was clueless of doubt and some unsaid dread

but mostly my fear of you

 

so, now, where to?

I wonder if I always knew, if I had it in sight

or if I still do

I wonder when everything faded to color from black and white

 

I was a tough tornado

you were a yellow road

I was a classic picture

you were a rainbow ode

 

I was a sepia landscape

you were a ruby shoe

I was a grayscale backdrop

you were a horse of hue

tea of old (interlude)

it was cold and so I boiled up some water

I figured it would warm me up

to have some tea inside my cup

 

and as the pot became much hotter

I grew more and more elated

for the tea for which I’d waited

 

and I poured it in my mug

and I took a big sip

and the tea was scalding hot

and it burned my upper lip

 

and I left it alone for a while

and when I remembered tea of old

I took another drink and then, to my surprise, it was cold

it was cold and so I boiled up some water

I figured it would warm me up

to have some tea inside my cup

 

and as the pot became much hotter

I grew more and more elated

for the tea for which I’d waited

 

and I poured it in my mug

and I took a big sip

and the tea was scalding hot

and it burned my upper lip

 

and I left it alone for a while

and when I remembered tea of old

I took another drink and then, to my surprise, it was cold

we'll make it

I can see it in your eyes

I can see it in your smile

oh, it’s plain to see

you’ve been loving me for quite a while

 

I can feel it in your touch

I can hear it in your sigh

oh, I know it’s true

it’s been me and you, you and I

 

we’ll make it

you’ll see

we’ll make it

for better or worse,

if this universe taught me anything

we’ll make it, you and me

 

always knew you were the one

always knew we’d see the day

push may come to shove

but, darling, this great love is here to stay

 

always guessed that it was you

always figured we’d get here

oh, it’s simply bliss

we’ll remember this

year after year after year after year

 

we’ll make it

you’ll see

we’ll make it

for better or worse,

if this universe taught me anything

we’ll make it, you and me

 

we’ll make it

you’ll see

we’ll make it

in sickness, in health

in poverty, wealth, well, through anything

we’ll make it, you and me

the silence in between

I’m ready for the mountains

I’m ready for the lakes

I’m ready for the mystery the blinded journey makes

 

I’m ready for the driving

I’m ready for the sea

I’m ready for the silence in between you and me

I’m ready for the silence in between you and me

 

I’m ready for the sunrise

I’m ready for the dawn

I’m ready for the early start we’ll need for keeping on

 

I’m ready for the morning

I’m ready to turn the key

I’m ready for the emptiness between you and me

I’m ready for the emptiness between you and me

 

in between you and me

in between you and me

in between you and me

in between you and me

 

I’m ready for directions

I’m ready for the road

I’m ready for the troubled trucks and hopes we don’t get towed

 

I’m ready for confusion

I’m ready for the glee

I’m ready for the distance in between you and me

I’m ready for the distance in between you and me

 

in between you and me

in between you and me

in between you and me

in between you and me

 

I’m ready for the freedom

I’m ready for the sights

I’m ready for the photographs we’ll take from greater heights

 

I’m ready for excitement

I’m ready just to be

I’m ready for the misery between you and me

I’m ready for the misery between you and me

 

in between you and me

in between you and me

in between you and me

in between you and me

 

I’m ready for the mountains

I’m ready for the lakes

I’m ready for the mystery the blinded journey makes

 

I’m ready for the driving

I’m ready for the sea

I’m ready for the silence in between you and me

I’m ready for the silence in between you and me

nineteen

she was an olden soul in a girl, only nineteen

he was an early spark in the sky, kept on beaming

he’d fly so high

but he couldn’t see the moon

he was a little too soon

 

she was a bit too wise for a girl, only nineteen

he was a rough draft marked as complete, kept on singing

he’d heard each word

but he didn’t know the tune

he was a little too soon

 

oh, if he’d only waited a little while

oh, he might have met her smile

 

she was an empty shell of a girl, only nineteen

he was a broken clock on a wall, kept on screaming

it’s time, you’re mine

every morning and afternoon

he was a little too soon

 

she was an olden soul in a girl, only nineteen

he was an early spark in the sky, kept on beaming

he’d fly so high

but he couldn’t see the moon

he was a little too soon

resting better now

nothing but nice things to say when you take it all away

I wish I’d told you before

nothing but positive thoughts when you count up all the loss

I wish I’d noticed it more

 

so many mistakes, I don’t know what to say

I guess I let my fear of rejection get in the way

 

but I hope you’re resting better now

I hope you feel my love somehow

I hope you know I wanted you to stay

that it would turn out okay

I hope you sense the joy you gave

I hope you see your friends all wave

as much as this deep distance will allow

I hope you’re resting better now

 

last time we talked was a blur, don’t remember how we were

just a run-in at some clothing store

last thing we said was a lie, guess we just ran out of time

thought we’d catch up, but what for

 

so many wrong steps, I don’t know what to do

I guess I’ll have to take my whole life to make it up to you

 

but I hope you’re resting better now

I hope you feel my love somehow

I hope you know I wanted you to stay

so you’d believe when I say

I hope you sense the joy you gave

I hope you see your friends all wave

as much as this deep distance will allow

I hope you’re resting better now

hundreds of people are here, everybody drawing near

longing to hold you again

so much that I didn’t say, now it has to stay that way

if only I’d known it back then

 

so many regrets, I don’t know where to start

I guess I’ll have to settle for you living on in my heart

 

I hope you’re resting better now

I hope you feel my love somehow

I hope you know I wanted you to stay

so you could hear this song play

I hope you sense the joy you gave

I hope you see your friends all wave

as much as this deep distance will allow

I hope you’re resting better now

I hope you're resting better now

I hope you're resting better now

overthinker

I was in control

on a roll

never thought I'd fall

and then you stepped in

with your childish grin

and you took it all

figured I was fine

didn't whine

for a year or five

gave my world a shake

gave my heart a break

when you came alive

it was over before I could know what I wanted

it was done before it had begun to be clear

and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you

there's songs you'll never even hear

have I lost my mind

have I lost my mind

yes

now my life's a mess

who'da guessed

that the neat freak could

and I'm trapped inside

cause I'm terrified

of this neighborhood

it was overdose

one step close

and then three steps back

and I did my best

but this deep unrest 

has been cardiac

it was over before I could know what I wanted

it was done before it had begun to be clear

and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you

there's songs you'll never even hear

have I lost my mind

have I lost my mind

yes

you thought you were the overthinker

well, who's overthinking now?

who's over thinking now?

it was over before I could know what I wanted

it was done before it had begun to be clear

and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you

there's songs you'll never even hear

have I lost my mind

have I lost my mind

it was over before I could know what I wanted

it was done before it had begun to be clear

and now I'm wasting all my best ideas on you

there's songs you'll never even hear

have I lost my mind

have I lost my mind

yes

all over anyway

I guess I give a little too much

I guess I let you walk right in and say what you needed

you were missing somebody else's touch

you were breaking down with half a plan to believe in

and I had the audacity to trust you

to think that this wasn't just you

I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all

I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall

where'd I go wrong, what did I say

it's all over anyway

it could have been when I had my eyes closed

it could have crept away when it thought no one was looking

I'm betting it was right beneath my nose

I thought that we were safe and then you came and you took it away

and I was always sure it was too good to be true

I don't know how I knew

I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all

I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall

where'd I go wrong, what did I say

it's all over anyway

I still recall the last moment that I saw you

on that sunny august day

there was no indication

but I felt confirmation then

I'd never see you again

I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all

I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall

where'd I go wrong, what did I say

I don't know what it was, if it was anything at all

I don't know what I've done, when did the summer turn to fall

where'd I go wrong, what did I say

it's all over anyway

twenty (interlude)

if twenty-one is an adult and nineteen’s a teen

then what about the people who fall just in-between

I'm talking twenty year olds  (that’s me!)

twenty year olds

on the earth for twenty (not the year, I'm twenty)

I'm just a year too few and just a year too many

what are we, what can we be

when we are only twenty

abington

just say you're from Philadelphia

no one asks for clarity

they tried to change our high school’s name

and all they got was hilarity

 

Bob Saget didn’t live here for long

and neither did my sanity

but ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington

 

you say your name, if it’s the same

Penny’s gives a rose for free

or head on down to Wawa now

you’ll probably know somebody

 

they never gave us snow days enough

that icy drive was misery

but ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington

 

and when it hits July and that parade goes by

we’ll look at Glenside Weldon and we’ll heave a sigh

they’re always making changes, couldn’t tell you why

but every time you say goodbye

 

you know you’ll miss that Keswick bliss

all those shops you’ll never see

when you return, you gave your word

your name will be on that marquee

 

some say they wish they’d lived somewhere else

to me, that thought’s a rarity

ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington

ask anyone, I’ve had my fun in Abington

on the horizon

it’s all on the horizon

don’t wanna turn away

it’s all on the horizon

and I can’t help but stay here in this

 

moment alone

moment unknown

 

it’s all on the horizon

I feel it drawing near

it’s all on the horizon

my feet are frozen here, just in this

 

moment alone

moment all grown

 

it’s all on the horizon

don’t wanna turn away

it’s all on the horizon

and I can’t help but stay here in this

 

moment alone

moment unknown

 

it’s all on the horizon

I’m scared to look ahead

it’s all on the horizon

I’m filling up with dread watching this

 

moment alone

moment unknown

 

moment alone

moment unknown

 

moment alone

moment unknown

 

moment alone

moment all grown

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

credits

Lizzy Hilliard: vocals, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, piano, ukulele, shaker, bells, tambourine, misc. percussion, songwriter, music production, mixing and mastering*

Jonathan Hilliard: electric bass, mixing and mastering

Nick Hilliard: cello

* = interludes